Forgiving Tess Page 4

  Tess rolled her eyes. She pretended it was annoying but in reality, she was already sad that her time away from home would soon be at an end. Josh would merely be a fond memory.

  “So, ice cream?” Josh asked again. He yanked her in the direction the kids were going.

  Tess tried to pull away, but he held firm. “They already think something’s going on,” she whispered.

  Josh glanced down at her with those silly dimples, one eyebrow raised. “Pastors are allowed to have lives. I’m only getting that now, Tornado. Come on.”

  And against her better judgment, or maybe because she hadn’t met most of the kids or the adults who were helping—she went along, not letting go of Josh’s hand until much later that night.

  ~*~

  Like most times in Josh’s life when things were at their best, the week he spent with Tess went too quickly. Each day they drew closer as they found many things they shared in common, from their love for their motorcycles to Tess’s newfound passion to learn all she could about the scriptures.

  Most days they did so much talking and laughing that the youth group students started teasing them and doing ‘hand checks’ and asking when Josh would propose. Uncle Stu even took Josh aside and told him to slow down.

  Despite standing several inches taller and broader over Tess’s uncle, Josh didn’t doubt the man would introduce him to a fist if he didn’t behave, so he assured Stu that his intentions toward Tess were honorable. Stu gave Josh his blessing, ending with “You’re getting the best. You better treat her that way, especially considering how long she’s waited.”

  With only two days to go before Tess left, Josh decided they should spend as much time together as possible, so he could figure out if his newfound dreams were worth exploring.

  “You forgot one.”

  Her voice startled him. Josh glanced up from his toolbox as Tess held a hammer in his direction. “I’m finished,” she said as Josh took it from her. He placed it with the other hammers in the toolbox before closing the lid.

  “Where are you headed now?”

  Tess grinned. “Don’t get too close or you’ll figure out that I need to get to the shower.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” He rose to his full height. “Some of the leaders are taking groups to the movies or over to the beach for a bonfire, but we can go on our own if you’d like. Maybe take a ride? Get dinner? Maybe see a movie or go back to the beach?”

  Tess grinned. “Are you asking me on a date, Jed?”

  Josh swallowed hard and forced a smile.

  What was he doing? It was one thing to playfully tease her all day long, and even wish he could date her, but it was another to act.

  “I am,” he said. “Will you go on a date with me, Theresa Carson?”

  Tess kicked the toe of her work boot against a piece of wood, nudging it aside into the pile of scraps. “Why?” she asked suspiciously, avoiding his eyes.

  Tess was not making this easy for him. “Why does a guy usually ask a girl on a date?” he asked, giving her a gentle nudge.

  Tess reached up to release her hair from its ponytail only to fuss with it again until it was back in a messy bun on the top of her head.

  Josh said a quick prayer she’d agree.

  “I probably shouldn’t,” she said carefully. “Uncle Stu was asking me what was going on between us and the kids think…”

  Josh laughed. “Those kids try to marry me off every day. Who cares? It’s a free night and it’s obvious you’re dying to hang out with me.” He gestured to himself as if he was a fantastic prize. “You always did like me, remember?”

  Although Josh knew he was splattered with sawdust from his head to his toes, and he was wearing a dirty, sweat-stained work shirt, and a pair of tattered jean shorts, Tess squinted at him, one eyebrow raised. “All right, Jed. Gimme an hour to make myself pretty again.”

  Josh nodded.

  Tess ran off toward the bunkhouse.

  What was he doing?

  ~*~

  After taking a shower, Tess was in the room brushing her hair when Morgan entered.

  “I’m exhausted,” she whined.

  Tess smiled.

  Morgan raised an eyebrow and made an “mmm-hmmm” noise as she set about putting her things away.

  “Don’t even,” Tess said as she went back to her mirror.

  “I didn’t say a word…Mrs. Thorne.”

  Tess turned to her friend. She smiled, embarrassed. “I tried to say no...”

  “What for? Goodness! I might smack you if you said no.”

  “But I shouldn’t go,” Tess’s voice drifted off as she turned back to the mirror.

  “Tess.”

  Tess went back to fussing with her hair before she answered. “Morgan.”

  Morgan started to dress. “You like Josh. The real Josh. The adult one, and he has no idea about any of what you went through. Don’t you think you should trust him enough to level with him? He could be really supportive. There’s nothing wrong with having more people around to love you.”

  Tess grunted. “You say it as if I overcame a disease.” She stood and grabbed her purse. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I want to forget it for a while. It will be waiting for me when I get home.”

  Morgan tugged her red hair into a tiny ponytail. “Josh is a good guy. You should trust him, especially if you really are interested. Besides, I’ve seen how he looks at you. I doubt the truth would change that—I mean, if you tell him now.”

  Tess’s stomach fluttered as Morgan’s words resonated deep inside her. It was sound advice whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not. She hugged her friend. “Pray for us? I’m sure we could both use it—no matter what happens.”

  ~*~

  A short time later, Tess picked at her dinner, wondering how she could tell Josh the truth about her life—or if she should. “So, what are we doing tomorrow?” she asked, in an effort to keep the conversation on a safe subject.

  Not that it mattered. Tess was falling back in love with Josh as fast as if the twelve years that separated them had never passed at all. But this time it was the actual, real love that happened between adults—not the impetuous, idealized love of kids.

  It didn’t help that she could tell in his eyes and his actions that he seemed to feel the same. Already he was often holding her hand, sharing private jokes, and calling her ‘Tornado’. It was no wonder his youth group students could see right through the charade.

  “I’m thinking we could go do something fun tomorrow. After a long, hard day of painting, of course. What do you say?”

  “I say you should stop asking me on dates when I came here to work.” Tess paused. “But I do like painting. And having fun.”

  “Me too,” he said, as his eyes lit up. “Oh! I forgot to tell you I talked to your dad this morning.”

  That one sentence made Tess lose any hope of control over the conversation. She and her father were once almost as close as she was now with Uncle Stu. But since her rocky life took over, she could only say that he still claimed her as his daughter—and barely that.

  “Oh? What did he say?” The fear inside Tess remained silent since she’d come to Florida. But in that moment, it resurfaced, turning her insides around so quickly she wondered if she might lose her dinner right in front of Josh and the rest of the people in the restaurant. She couldn’t tell him. She shouldn’t tell him. But maybe now that decision was out of her hands. To Tess’s surprise, Josh was smiling at her.

  “Tess?” he said softly.

  She swallowed. “Yeah?”

  “I wanted to talk to Brody but all I knew was your parents’ number so I talked to your dad instead.”

  Tess nodded, as Josh reached across the table and captured her hand in his. The warmth of his palm reassured her, and her mind quickly settled. “So, your dad was happy we’re spending a lot of time together. He kept asking me if Stu was hanging around or leaving us alone. Any idea what that was about?”

  Tess took a
drink and tried to squelch her nerves as she shook her head.

  Josh held her gaze for a moment and took his hand back to resume eating. “Anyway, he said you were doing a good job taking care of your grandma,” he said.

  Tess filled with pride at the indirect praise. Her father hadn’t said anything positive to her in what seemed like years. Not that she deserved any accolades. But to get them now meant he’d noticed all of her hard work, and maybe she’d turned a corner in her relationship with her family. Tess set her fork down. “I have Brody’s number,” she said before switching gears. “Is this really what you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked. “My dad?”

  Josh shook his head but he still seemed to be nervous.

  Tess wondered if she should change the subject before he told her she’d need to get lost, so she didn’t ruin his reputation. Surely her dad told him something. Any of her sins could be enough to make a pastor run away. With a sigh she lifted her fork and went back to eating. “I’d, um, keep an eye on Susannah. She’s a little too interested in boys. It’ll end badly if someone doesn’t keep close tabs on her.”

  Confused, Josh smiled lopsidedly. “What?”

  “Trust me.”

  Josh continued to smile, the dimple in his right cheek teasing her into smiling back at him, except this time it was against her will. She’d listened to the fifteen-year-old talk about boys, watched her dress inappropriately, and she’d asked all sorts of ridiculous questions over the last few days. Tess was certain she was right about what Susannah was up to since she’d once been there herself.

  “Tornado…you just met her.”

  “Trust me.”

  Josh nodded, reluctantly. “All right.” He wiped his mouth and set his napkin on the table beside his plate. “This isn’t exactly how I dreamed this conversation would go,” he said. “Um, do you mind if we leave?”

  Tess shrugged and set her napkin on the table. “I’m finished. It was very good. Thanks.”

  Josh nodded and glanced at the bill before he tossed some money on the table. He nodded toward the door as he stood. “Come on. I want to talk.”

  “We were talking,” she said.

  Josh leaned over and kissed the top of her head as a brother might. “I’d like to talk about something beyond work and families,” he said as they got to his motorcycle. He handed her a helmet. “Don’t worry. It will be painless.”

  Tess raised an eyebrow and silently slid the helmet over her hair, certain that Josh was clueless to the pain that awaited when they finally talked as they should have all along.

  ~*~

  A short time later Josh slipped the motorcycle into a parking lot that was close to the beach. He stood and yanked his helmet off before extending his hand to help Tess.

  She removed her helmet and handed it to him, her smile slipping as she stepped off the bike and stood next to him.

  Josh reminded himself to stay focused on what he wanted to say despite the fact that she looked as nervous as he felt. He set their helmets on the motorcycle and reached for Tess’s hand, astounded at how natural it was.

  They walked together in silence.

  As Josh opened his mouth to speak, his cell phone rang, disrupting his daydream. With a heavy sigh, he yanked the phone from his pocket and checked the screen. “Sorry…” he muttered. “I’ve got to take this.”

  Tess shrugged.

  Josh pressed a button and held the phone to his ear. “Hey.”

  Tess walked ahead of him and sat to take off her shoes.

  “Hello, Joshua. Any word on the job front?” His father’s deep voice questioned.

  Tess left her shoes on the sand and walked toward the water. She made a show of sprinting through the waves, the bottoms of her pants now completely soaked through as she tried to entertain him.

  He smiled. Her carefree attitude was another reason he turned to mush when she was around. Josh waved her off with a laugh. “Nothing solid yet,” he said. “But I’m thinking Pennsylvania might be an option.”

  “Really?”

  Josh wasn’t sure how he should say it, or even if it mattered. “Well, I was applying everywhere. But…”

  As his father cleared his throat, Josh imagined he was already bored. The man never sat still. “But?” he asked.

  “Well, you remember the church you served there?”

  “Sure…are they in the mix?”

  “I heard there was a position available. Maybe I can look into it,” Josh said carefully.

  “And you want my help.”

  Tess was staring out at the ocean, eyes closed, lips moving.

  He felt breathless as he watched her pray. “The team is actually here now helping us rebuild the youth center and the more I’m around the people…”

  “Hmm…finally. What’s her name?”

  Josh could hear his father smiling. His parents had been pestering him to find a wife for several years; they wanted more grandchildren and they feared that as a single pastor Josh would be chewed up and spit out of the ministry without a strong woman beside him. But Josh wasn’t convinced. He understood what his mother went through in ministry with her husband. He didn’t think he wanted to put his wife through that, but he also couldn’t stop thinking about Tess since she’d arrived. To act as if it wasn’t happening might be turning his back on God’s will for his life. Josh cleared his throat, not bothering to deny it. “She’s, uh, here now,” he said. “Dad, you won’t believe this…but do you remember the Carsons?”

  The long pause on the other end of the phone told him his father was going through his memory carefully. Finally, he spoke. “You mean our old neighbors? Your friend Brody and…what was that little spitfire’s name? The one who colored our driveway in chalk with your name all the time?”

  Josh smiled at the memory of Tess’s little hands and face covered with all colors of chalk as she tried to impress him. “Tess,” he said.

  “And there it is…” Paul said with a sigh. “Be careful you don’t focus so much on her that you fail to address God’s plan in this. It has only been a week.”

  “But what if she is God’s plan for me?” Josh asked.

  Now, Tess lay on the sand, her eyes closed, her lips still moving. She’d done that several times already, as if she was talking right to God without a care of anyone else’s presence.

  She was so strong in her faith that it inspired him. Before his father could say anything, Josh said, “I gotta go, Dad. Please…check on it, OK?”

  “I’ll do what I can,” he said. “Tell Tess we said hello.”

  “I’ll do that.” Josh hung up and went to Tess, who was still quiet and praying. He sat beside her, not disturbing her.

  She finished her prayer and opened her eyes slowly, embarrassed. “Sorry,” she said.

  Josh shook his head, still feeling tongue-tied by her strong faith. “Please don’t apologize,” he said. “I love how close you are with God.”

  Still embarrassed, Tess pushed up. “I can’t get through an hour without praying.”

  “Anything I can do?” Josh asked.

  Tess shook her head, blushing. “I…need to check in a lot,” she said. “You remember that verse…?” Tess rubbed her head as if trying to recall what she wanted to say. “I’m not very good with memorizing verses,” she said apologetically. “It’s the one about…not worrying, but praying instead.”

  “Philippians 4:6,” Josh said. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

  “That’s why you’re the pastor,” she said with a chuckle.

  Josh shrugged as he took her hand, delighted when she squeezed his fingers against her own. “Well, tell me if I can pray for you.” Josh sounded calm despite his raging nerves.

  “You can always pray for me,” Tess said. “So, how’s Papa Bear?”

  “He said to tell you hello.”

  “He remembers me?” she asked, surprised.

 
“Sure. Asked if you were still covered in chalk.”

  The sun was beginning to set, but that didn’t hide Tess’s flushed face. She covered with a laugh. “I retired the chalk years ago.”

  Josh squeezed her hand as they stood and started walking. “This week has been amazing. It’s been the first fun I’ve had in a long time.”

  Tess smiled, gently bumping her hip against his side. “Me too, Jed. You’re not half as boring as I imagined.”

  He laughed. “And you’re—” he paused. “—You’re not anything like I thought you’d be.”

  “Hmm…twice as tall and only half as annoying?”

  “I’m serious. I…I think there’s more than friendship between us.” He finally met her gaze with his own. “Please stop me if I’m making a complete fool of myself.”

  Tess visibly gulped, his words seeming to end the jokes. “What?”

  “Don’t tell me you…I mean…don’t you think about…?” Josh stopped as fear set in. Now it was his turn to gulp. “I am making a fool of myself, aren’t I?” Josh started to pull his hand away, but Tess held firm and shook her head.

  “You aren’t.” She glanced away and said, almost too quietly for him to catch, “At least not for the reasons you think.”

  Josh wanted to be relieved but sensed it was too soon.

  Tess stopped walking and drew her hand from his. She sat rigidly, gazing at the waves.

  Josh was unsure what he was supposed to say or do. He sat and gently placed his arm around her shoulders, scooting closer when she shivered. “We can leave if you’re cold,” he said.

  She shook her head.

  Josh paused for a long moment as they sat quietly, each lost in thought. “So, um, what do we do?” Josh asked. “Is there any chance you could stay a little longer?”

  Tess sighed. “Definitely no. I need to get back to work.”

  “And I can’t leave either. So, what does that mean?” Josh asked.

  “This was a bad idea.” Tess looked up at him. “It’s been amazing. I really needed this. Just working and being myself has been a nice change of pace.”