Forgiving Tess Read online

  ~*~

  Tess’s hand tingled in the warmth of Josh’s as they walked toward the games. He followed her up to a high place on the bleachers where they got comfortable.

  “Sorry you got a speeding ticket,” Tess said as the crowd cheered for a player who was rounding the bases after a homerun.

  “I think the officer enjoyed it when I told him I was a youth pastor trying to impress a young lady,” Josh said with a chuckle. “Think I converted him?”

  Tess laughed. “He did say you’d see him at church on Sunday.”

  Josh laughed and pointed to the young man who’d scored. “He’s one of ours. Doesn’t come to youth group much but I’m working on him.” He paused. Tess was trying not to watch the game. Too many memories. She turned her attention to Josh as he continued.

  “I really wish you weren’t leaving,” he said sincerely.

  “Me, too,” Tess answered with a slight smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you my phone number. If you can catch me between jobs we might even be able to talk sometimes.”

  “Good.” Josh grinned. “Remember how we used to play catch for hours behind your parents’ house?”

  Tess nodded as he took her hand.

  “You and Brody used to make me go after all the lost ones.” She playfully nudged him. “And for some ridiculous reason I still followed you like a puppy.”

  Josh nudged her back. “Aww, you were cute…and we felt bad for you. We didn’t think you could get any friends…” He laughed as Tess smacked him again. “And Stu told us he’d beat our backsides if we weren’t nice to you. So…”

  “Ha...ha...,” Tess said wryly as she scooted away from him. “It goes to show what a dumb kid I was.”

  Josh slid closer. “I think you were the smartest of us all,” he said.

  “Please.” Tess rolled her eyes. “So, Stu said we’re leaving at six in the morning to get a good start on driving back. Maybe I better give you my number now in case you don’t make it that early, princess.”

  Josh scoffed. “I’ll make it. I might even kidnap you and make you stay longer.”

  Tess laughed, wishing that were an option. She reached into her pocket anyway and drew her phone out and handed it to him.

  “OK. Give me yours and I’ll give you mine. Just in case.”

  ~*~

  A short time later the game was winding down and the home team was way ahead.

  Josh handed Tess the box of popcorn they’d been sharing and stood. He held out a hand to her. “Ready to go?”

  “Sure.” She accepted his help rising.

  Josh loved that she kept holding his hand as they moved down the bleachers. “Can I ask you something?” he asked as they made their way back to the parking lot.

  “I guess.”

  “What made you so sure you would marry me when you were little?”

  Tess snorted. “I was a dumb kid,” she said, though her reddened cheeks told a different story.

  Josh squeezed her hand as she tossed the popcorn container into a nearby garbage can. They continued walking. “A dumb kid would take all of my hints to get lost, but you didn’t.” Josh was embarrassed to say it, but he pushed on. “I wasn’t exactly nice to you—especially when you ruined prom.”

  They stopped walking when they reached the motorcycle.

  Tess lifted her helmet and leaned against the bike. “It’s different now,” she said. “You want to call me and you’re holding my hand. I’m not sure I can answer you.”

  Josh cleared his throat. “And, we’re both adults.” He shook his head. “It was a dumb question.”

  She kicked his shoe with her toe. “It was probably the dimples.”

  “Come on…” he said. “Really?” He raised an eyebrow but smiled widely to enhance her favorite feature.

  Tess groaned as she looked away. “It’s the weirdest thing. As if it was my mission in life. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But, the more I was with you the more sure I was.”

  Although he wanted to drag her into his arms and kiss her like crazy, Josh reluctantly released her hand and lifted his helmet. “Big head,” he said. “You better stop.”

  Tess playfully smacked him and continued talking. “I liked when you gave me a nickname.”

  Josh laughed as his phone rang. “You named yourself,” he muttered. He yanked the phone from his pocket and regarded the screen, his smile slowly melting to confusion. He didn’t recognize the number. Without glancing at Tess, he pressed the phone to his ear. “This is Josh.”

  “Pastor Josh? It’s Susannah. I’m…I was on a date and I…” the teenager’s voice was strained and she was crying. “He tried to make me do things. I got away though. I’m safe now,” she took a deep breath, and obvious effort to calm herself. “It scared me so bad! Can you get me?”

  “Take a breath, Susannah,” Josh said. “Are you OK?” He paused. “Where are you?”

  “I was afraid to call my mom. She’s working late. I’m at the convenience store not far from the junior high. On the corner.”

  Josh nodded. “I can be there in fifteen minutes. Don’t move.” He hung up and stuffed the phone into his pocket. “We need to get Susannah.”

  Tess wordlessly yanked her helmet on as she threw her leg over the back of the motorcycle.

  Josh started it and was off quickly, flying down the road.

  8

  We love because he first loved us.

  1 John 4:19

  Tess ran after Josh as he ditched his bike and hustled to a dark blue van where he yanked the passenger door open and nodded for her to jump in.

  “Yeesh, Jed. You want another ticket?” she muttered as she dove into her seat.

  He slammed the door, ran around to the other side, hopped in and shoved a key into the ignition.

  His haste reminded her of the time he’d actually agreed to sneak out of his house with her and Brody, so they could go to their “secret” hideout. Their parents found them before they’d even lit the lantern in the tree house. “What did she say?” Tess asked as they sat at a red light.

  Josh ran his fingers through his hair. “Said she went out with this guy and he…” Josh stole a glance at Tess and shook his head.

  “Oh…is she all right?” Tess asked, praying immediately for the girl’s safety.

  He nodded. “I think so. She ran to a convenience store nearby and is waiting there.”

  “Good,” Tess said. She reached over and squeezed Josh’s arm. “I’m glad she called you. You must have a special relationship with the kids.”

  Josh slowed and turned into a parking lot. “I hope so. I’ve told them a million times if they get into trouble, no matter what it is, I’ll come for them. Some of their parents won’t say that and the kids need someone who will be there for them regardless of the situation.” Josh set the car in park.

  Tess kissed his cheek, the emotion nearly overwhelming her. “You’re a good man.” Her voice was thick with tears she held back, so she hopped out of the car and went into the store. “Susannah!” Tess said with relief when she spotted the girl inside. She hugged her close. “Are you OK?”

  Josh stood nearby silently, placing a hand on Susannah’s shoulder.

  “I’m sorry I called, but my mom was working late and she told me not to go out but I went anyway and he…” she glanced at Tess. “…underestimated me, I guess. I’m glad I took that self-defense class with my friends.”

  Tess hugged the girl again. “Come on. Josh wants to buy us a drink before we take you home.”

  “Thanks for coming,” Susannah said to Josh.

  He bought their drinks and gestured for her to follow him to a small table with benches outside. “You really put yourself in a dangerous situation,” Josh said as he passed out their sodas. “You’re very blessed that nothing worse happened.”

  “I know…” Susannah took a sip of her drink. She peeked sheepishly at Tess. “I guess you never did anything so stupid.”

  Tess laughed and tried to ignore tha
t Josh was standing nearby. “Are you kidding? I’ve done too many stupid things to count. But, I realized that no man would respect me if I didn’t respect myself enough to make better choices.”

  Susannah nodded silently and took another drink, a young girl ashamed.

  Josh caught Tess’s gaze and smiled before mouthing ‘thank you’.

  She nodded and put an arm around Susannah’s shoulders. “Did he hurt you?” she asked gently. “We can take you to the hospital if…”

  “No. He didn’t get that far…” but even as the words escaped she began to cry with increasing intensity. Susannah was more frightened than she’d let on.

  Tess took the girl’s drink and handed it to Josh, so she could fold Susannah into her arms, quietly soothing her by stroking her hair. Tess understood exactly what she meant. She’d been there herself—ashamed, alone, embarrassed. “Listen,” Tess said. “You should talk to your mom or Josh, OK? This won’t go away overnight.”

  Susannah nodded as she wiped at her nose with a tissue Josh handed to her. “Can I call you?”

  “You can call me anytime, day or night.”

  Susannah smiled tentatively before her face clouded over and another tear fell. “I probably deserved this. I wanted him to like me and I didn’t want to be a…tease.”

  Tess took the girl’s hands into her own. “I’ve been there. But you didn’t do anything wrong. You said no.”

  Susannah sniffed. “I did. And I won’t do this again. I promise.”

  Tess wiped the girl’s cheeks. “Good girl. You did the right thing. You stopped it before it went too far, and you called for help. You’re a smart girl, Susannah.”

  “How about we get you home?” Josh asked. “I don’t want your mom to worry when she figures out you’re gone.”

  Susannah stood to give him a hug, surprising Tess by doing the same to her. “When you two get married, you better invite me,” she said casually as she went to the trash and tossed the remainder of her drink.

  Josh winked at Tess who laughed.

  “You’ll be the first to know,” Josh promised as he took Tess’s hand and walked toward the car.

  ~*~

  A short time later, Josh left Susannah with her grateful mother. To say the young girl would be grounded for a long time was probably an understatement. But that wasn’t Josh’s worry. He smiled at Tess as he held the door for her, closing it when she was safely seated inside.

  “I get why you brought the motorcycle out first,” Tess said as Josh got into the van and slammed his door closed.

  He grinned as he started the vehicle and backed out of the driveway. His minivan was probably the nastiest vehicle he could find but it served a number of purposes—one, he could haul a lot of kids in it, and two it was ugly, so it was super-cheap—a definite plus for a poor pastor. “I wanted this thing so I could pick up more women,” he said as he drove down the road toward the church and bunkhouse. It got late quickly, and he was concerned with what everyone would think when he brought Tess back.

  “Maybe soccer moms and grandmas,” Tess said.

  Josh laughed. “Not you?”

  Tess groaned. “Your dimples will only take you so far.”

  “Yeah—but the bike and cherry ice cream will get me the rest of the way.” Josh smiled and nudged her arm. “I’m impressed with how you handled things back there. Ever think about youth ministry?”

  Tess snorted and shook her head as her cell phone rang. “No…” she pulled her phone from her pocket and glanced at the number. She held up a finger to signal she needed to answer. “Hello?”

  Josh drove silently as he tried to avoid listening in.

  “Hey…what’s up?” she listened for several long moments, her face pinched as if the conversation hurt. “No, but…I will. Sure. Right. Bye.” She hung up the phone and stuffed it back into her pocket. “I’m not sure why I bother to turn that thing on.”

  Josh stopped at a red light and glanced at her. “I think the same thing all the time. But at least when you get home I’ll be calling so it won’t always be bad.” Josh turned the van into the parking lot and pulled into a space before he glanced at Tess again.

  “So…that was Brody,” she said with a sigh. “He’s…concerned that I’m corrupting you or something. So…sorry.” She shrugged as she opened the van door. “Thanks for tonight.”

  Confused, Josh grabbed her arm. “What?” he asked. Tess smiled, but Josh refused to release her. “Close the door, Tess. We should probably talk about this or I won’t sleep.”

  Reluctantly, Tess closed the door and waited.

  Josh did his best to meet her eyes though she appeared to be intent on fussing with something that was on her lap. “Maybe you should tell me what happened,” he said.

  “No.” The statement was simple, final. Tess sat, hands folded primly, waiting.

  “But if we…” he cleared his throat. “Do whatever it is we’re doing here—talk, get acquainted, it may eventually come out with our families and I’d need to…I mean…hear about it before that, don’t you think?”

  Tess sighed heavily, appearing resigned to her fate. “What do you want me to tell you first? The promiscuity, the drinking, the smoking, or maybe the jail time? No, I can start gently with the piercings. Oh, wait, working at the ‘gentlemen’s’ club. Let’s get that out of the way. That was priceless. The list is endless, Jed.” Tess looked resigned, as if she was telling someone else’s story.

  Josh hoped his face masked the shock inside him. He gulped. “That’s not funny.”

  Tess raised one eyebrow. “My family didn’t think so either. They all bailed me out at one time or another until the only one left who was willing to do it was Stu. I think even he wondered whether it was worth the effort.” Her gaze met his.

  Josh understood that she feared he would pull away from her, disregard her as everyone else in her life had done outside of Stu and Morgan. He reached over and took her hand.

  Tess tried to pull her hand away, but Josh held firm and refused to let her go. “Tell me.”

  She sighed, her hand limp in his. She’d already given up.

  Josh blinked, fighting a wave of nausea as he waited for her to explain.

  Tess drew a deep breath and began. “I’ve only been great at a small number of things in my life, Jed. I mean where I didn’t mess it up by being difficult, usually on purpose.” She sighed. “Softball was my thing. Scouts came from everywhere for me, the town loved me. No one went to girls’ softball games before I came along.” She didn’t say it to brag—it was a fact Josh remembered well—even when she was barely a freshman in high school she’d been amazing—striking out everyone who stepped into the batter’s box.

  Tess fiddled with the hem of her shirt before continuing. “Well when I was in college I got cocky, trusted the hype,” she paused, drawing a deep breath. “I blew it. Hurt my shoulder bad. Three surgeries and tons of physical therapy went by. I lost my scholarship because I didn’t really care about my major, so I got kicked out of school because without softball, what was the point? I ended up back at home with all the other losers who couldn’t hack it…and it wasn’t long before I became one of them.”

  Josh was shocked and sympathetic to what she’d gone through. When he remembered Tess as a child, it was usually an image of her pigtails and softball glove that came to his mind. Softball was her life and she’d always played hard. Of course, she’d also been told repeatedly that she was the best. It crossed his mind that perhaps there wasn’t anyone to keep her humble until it was too late. “So, what happened?” he asked gently.

  “When I was recovering from my last surgery, I was lost. Brody was finishing grad school and he was so focused on Stell I could barely get him to talk to me. Dad and Uncle Stu were off working on a big development in Ohio, so they were never home, and my mom?” She laughed wryly. “We were never close. I was alone. It didn’t exactly help me make better choices.” She paused, her eyes on her hands. Her face became a mask. Gone was th
e sweet, fun, full-of-life Tess. She’d been replaced by someone who was removed from her life, ashamed of what she’d been and unable to accept what she’d become.

  “So that’s what made Brody think he should warn me about you?”

  Tess shrugged. “I made embarrassing my family an Olympic event. If you can imagine it, I probably did it.”

  Josh’s stomach clenched. “I don’t need details,” he said.

  “I told you I wasn’t a…good girl.”

  Josh reached over and turned her face so she met his eyes. “And I told you that I see who you are, Tornado. I don’t care about the past. In fact, I’m kind of done talking about it.”

  Tess’s eyebrows lifted in shock. “Um, OK.”

  “Stu thinks you’re the most amazing niece on the planet. He’s a good judge of character.” He smiled. “Your family will catch up. So will everyone else.” With a shrug he kissed her hand. “I’m not worried. And I won’t change my mind. So, I guess you and Brody can both stop trying to tell me I’m wrong.”

  Tess’s face revealed she wasn’t convinced. “Oh. Right. OK,” she said reluctantly. She reached for the door, but Josh shook his head.

  “Not yet.” He released her hand, got out of the van, and ran to the other side to open her door for her.

  Again, Tess appeared to be surprised as she swung her legs out and stepped in front of him. “You don’t need to do that,” she said. “It’s only me.”

  Josh nodded as he leaned against the door. “I will continue to do that because it is you.” He leaned down to kiss her gently. “And I’m glad you trusted me,” he said.

  Tess nodded and stepped toward the bunkhouse door. “Good night, Jed,” she said softly.

  “Catch you tomorrow, Tornado.”

  Tess nodded and went inside.

  Josh got in his van, still thinking of all she’d said and wondering if he was making a mistake.

  ~*~

  Tess didn’t sleep all night. Even if her past was behind her, she’d moved on and even went on some dates, all of which were disasters since the men she chose remained the same. When Josh held back from kissing her, or opened doors for her, Tess was reminded that he was the kind of man every woman wanted, but not someone she deserved.