Forgiving Tess Read online

  “Knock it off,” Morgan whispered when Tess tossed to her other side for the millionth time.

  Her phone told her it was nearly three o’clock in the morning and they’d be getting up soon enough anyway. “Sorry,” she whispered back as her phone vibrated with a text. She opened it and smiled as she read the words.

  I think my ringtone should be something like ‘bad to the bone’ or ‘born to be wild’.

  With a deep and intense yawn, she text back: And what will my ringtone be?

  Immediately a text came back. What are you still doing up?

  She smiled. I’m waiting…

  Moments later his text came: Your ringtone is either ‘blowin’ in the wind’ or ‘don’t get me wrong’- now go to bed.

  Tess bit her lip to muffle her giggle. She quickly text back. You too—you thorn in my…

  Hey! ;(

  Good night.

  Night.

  Tess smiled as she tucked her phone under her pillow and again tried to fall asleep, certain it would be a long two and a half hours until she needed to get up.

  9

  A man’s heart deviseth his way:

  but the Lord directeth his steps.

  Proverbs 16:9

  “So, what were you giggling about at three in the morning?” Morgan asked as she and Tess dragged their bags toward the bus the next day. The plan was to pack the bus before eating breakfast and visiting with the staff and pastors until it was time for the ministry team to head home.

  Tess tried not to smile as she tossed her larger bag into the bus’s cargo hold and handed her smaller one to Stu as he walked by.

  He pretended it was too heavy for him as he got on the bus to reserve their seats.

  She grinned and turned back to her friend. “Jed was texting me,” she said. “I hope I didn’t keep you up.”

  “No.” Morgan smiled. “Maybe you ought to stay here and date him. Heaven knows going back to work is enough to make me want to stay.”

  Tess snorted. “I can’t. This was fun but once reality sets in tomorrow for both of us, it will be nothing but a great memory.”

  Morgan shook her head sympathetically. “Tess.”

  “It’s all right,” she said. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

  Reluctantly, Morgan followed Tess into the dining hall and they got in line.

  “Mind if I cut?” a deep voice asked.

  Tess glanced up at Josh. His blond hair flopped over his eye as he smiled, dimples popping deeply in his cheeks.

  She gestured for him to step in line wishing her face didn’t go warm every time she was around him.

  “You’re surprisingly awake,” he said with a nudge. “Considering how late you were bugging me.”

  “I was about to say the same thing.”

  Josh took a muffin followed by scrambled eggs. He grinned mischievously as he continued to load his plate. “I set your ring tone.”

  Tess raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”

  Morgan gave a fake gag. “I’m going to go…over there,” she muttered and headed off to a table where Stu was already seated.

  “You first,” Josh said as he handed her a cup of coffee.

  Tess set the coffee aside and yanked her phone from her pocket, quickly pressing Jed’s name.

  His phone immediately began to buzz in his pocket and he laughed, shaking his head. “It’s on vibrate, Tornado.” He continued laughing as she ended the call.

  “Come on, Jed!”

  “OK…” he sighed and pressed a few buttons, and an obscure song about a tornado began to play.

  Tess shook her head, disappointed. “That’s the best you could do?” she asked. “You’re an amateur.” She nodded toward his phone. “Call me.”

  Josh cleared his throat and pressed the buttons on his phone until Tess’s began to ring with the theme song from an old television show about hillbillies moving to the big city. As the words from the popular television show rang out, Josh began laughing until tears were running down his cheeks.

  Tess smiled with victory and shoved the phone back into her pocket. She started toward the table, Josh close behind.

  “I concur with your judgment, Tess. I believe I am, in fact, an amateur. I’ll keep working on it.”

  “Next time better be good.” Tess set her things down.

  He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Maybe I should change yours to ‘It Had to be You’.”

  Tess stopped cold and looked up.

  Josh winked and started whistling as he set his things down and gestured for her to sit.

  Stu didn’t notice Tess’s blushing face as he shoveled his breakfast down. “Didn’t you sleep?” he asked, glancing at her as she sat. “I guess we’ll be listening to you snore all the way home.”

  “I’ll lay my head right on your shoulder, so you can get the full experience, Uncle Stu,” she said with a smile.

  He groaned and gestured to Josh with his fork. “You sure you’re interested in her? She’s pretty mouthy.”

  Josh smiled and nudged Tess gently. “It’s one of the many things I like about her.”

  Tess focused on her food to avoid the conversation.

  Stu raised an eyebrow. “You two deserve each other,” he muttered.

  Morgan smiled at Tess, and Tess was grateful her friend realized her need for a change of subject.

  “So, Tess…will you start teaching that exercise class when we get home?” she asked.

  Tess nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Grandma Vi and her friends are really excited about it. I was thinking of asking if it would be OK for me to go into the memory care side with it as well, maybe in a few weeks.”

  “That’s a great idea. I was reading a study about that the other day, about how movement and music can affect memory.” Morgan sipped her juice.

  “I read that too.” Tess stole a muffin from Josh’s plate which she broke in half and ate, returning the rest to him without a glance his way.

  He sighed heavily before switching their plates and finishing off her eggs.

  “Come on,” she mumbled. “It was like half of a muffin.”

  “It was the half I wanted.”

  Tess ate the other half of the muffin.

  “Should I ask if one of the pastors wants to do the ceremony before we leave?” Stu asked as he finished clearing his plate.

  Tess chuckled.

  Josh’s cheeks went pink and shook his head.

  “The six-year-old me would be thrilled,” Tess said. “But the twenty-six-year-old me has yet to be convinced. So, you’re safe for now, Jed.”

  Josh took a drink of coffee, winking at Tess as he did.

  She smiled in return. Since she was leaving, it was easier to flirt with him and be herself. If they were back home, Tess was certain she would be hiding in her apartment and staying as far away from Josh as she could to preserve his reputation—as Brody wanted her to do. Tess took a drink of coffee and stood. “How much time before we go?”

  Stu glanced at his phone. “I’d say about twenty minutes or so.”

  She nodded and cleared her place. “OK. I’m going to find out if Susannah stopped by.”

  Josh stood too as he collected his plate and cup. “I’ll come with you.”

  Stu nodded and waved them off. He tossed a grin in Morgan’s direction. “I predict that before this year is out those two will be walking down the aisle.”

  Morgan’s jaw dropped. “A year? But, how…?”

  Stu shrugged. “God has a way of working these things out, and from what I can tell, He definitely wants them together.”

  Tess pretended not to hear, but her heart did a funny little flutter.

  ~*~

  Josh followed Tess outside to a nearby picnic table. She sat on the bench as he leaned against the top of the table. He towered over her as he scanned the parking lot where the busses waited. “Susannah texted me sometime late last night that she couldn’t make it. Still grounded,” he said. “But I gave her your number. I didn’t thi
nk you’d mind.”

  Tess squinted up at him. “I don’t mind, but why did we come out here?”

  Josh nudged her with a shy smile. “So, we could get a few minutes alone before you leave, dummy.”

  “Oh.” She met his gaze. “This week’s been fun. I’m glad we got to reconnect.”

  “Me, too.” He heaved a sigh as he sat beside her. “I wish you weren’t leaving yet.”

  “Me, too.”

  “So, um, I’ll call you...” he began with a chuckle. “This feels like summer camp.”

  Tess chuckled. “I’ll send you muffins, Jed. The blueberry ones you love.”

  “Don’t you dare tease,” he said sternly.

  Tess pressed her hand to her chest. “I would never tease about blueberry muffins.”

  “Ten minutes!” someone yelled. “Busses leave in ten minutes!”

  Josh smiled and stood. “Come on. I want to show you something.” He nodded toward his church.

  “But we’re leaving in ten minutes,” Tess began.

  “Oh, please…as if you ever worried about being late.” He gestured for her to follow him. “Come on!”

  Tess jumped to her feet and sprinted toward the church. “Race ya!”

  “Why, you…!” Josh ran after her and made it to the door before her. He leaned against it as she nearly crashed into him, laughing. He caught and steadied her with one hand as he opened the door with the other.

  “So…what is it?” Tess asked as she followed him down the hallway toward his office.

  He opened the door and stepped inside.

  Tess was right behind him.

  “I didn’t want you to go without saying that…I’ve been praying and I trust that God is doing something amazing in your life and that He has great plans for you, even if I’m not completely sure yet if that includes me.” He smiled softly. “But I hope it does.” He obviously meant every word of it.

  Tess smiled, her heart full. “Thank you,” she whispered. “That means a lot.”

  Josh blushed and nodded. “And I wanted to pray…together, I mean, if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t. I’d like that.”

  They sat together on the couch at the far end of his office. Josh clasped her hand in his and closed his eyes as she did the same.

  “Dear Lord,” he began. “I thank You for the amazing gift You’ve given us this week—a week full of friendship and maybe…something more. In Your name, Father, I ask that You guide our steps as we get to know one another better. Be with Tess and the rest of the team as they travel home, but especially….dear Lord, I pray that You help Tess to see and accept that she has been forgiven and is now a new creation with a future You laid out for her. Help me to be an encouragement and a blessing to her. In Your holy name, I pray. Amen.”

  “Amen.” Tess slowly lifted her lids and met Josh’s gaze.

  He cleared his throat and stood, pulling her with him.

  Tess was bursting with what she was certain was Josh’s love for her. Uncle Stu was the only man who’d ever prayed with her. No man or boyfriend ever bothered to think highly enough of her to even consider doing so. Josh was special, and she silently thanked God for bringing him back into her life, even if it was only for a short time.

  “Here,” Josh said as he opened his office door, holding out an envelope. “My team was taking pictures the whole time and they got a few of us together. I thought you might want them.” He smiled sheepishly. “I kept a few for myself too.”

  Tess smiled as she accepted the envelope. “Thanks.” With her other hand she reached up and squeezed Josh’s arm. “Thank you for believing in me.”

  Josh seemed surprised but nodded as he stepped closer to the door. “We’d better say good-bye now. I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

  Tess nodded and reached up to hug Josh. If ever she’d wanted to avoid her life it was that moment. Going home might be the worst punishment she’d faced so far, and yet she was certain Uncle Stu would not leave her in Florida when she still needed to make amends for all her wrongs.

  Josh held Tess tight for several moments before finally kissing the top of her head. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered.

  “Me, too,” Tess said as she took a step back from him.

  Josh kept his hands on her arms and slowly leaned down to kiss her. “Come on,” he said reluctantly as he took her hand. “We better go before I beg you to stay.”

  Tess smiled and squeezed his hand. “I might even be tempted to say yes.”

  Josh tugged her toward the door with sadness in his eyes showing that he didn’t want to.

  They walked silently until they got to the doors of the church where Josh squeezed her hand one last time and gave her another kiss on the head. He pushed the door open and they stepped through.

  She looked up, hoping he didn’t notice the tears forming in her eyes. “Bye, Jed.”

  He nodded as they walked toward the busses, saying nothing the entire way.

  Tess stepped up onto the bus and smiled through her tears at Josh, giving him a small, final wave.

  He nodded.

  Their time together was over.

  10

  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

  Philippians 4:13

  Tess trudged to the back of the bus, stepped over Stu’s legs silently and flopped down next to him as traitorous tears flowed down her cheeks. She hastily wiped at them in annoyance. She hadn’t felt this horrible since she’d been devastated by losing softball to an injury that was her own fault.

  “Hey.” Stu leaned close to her and wrapped his arm around her.

  She turned her head into his shoulder, so no one would catch her crying.

  Stu nudged her gently. “Come on. Sit up and give him one last smile.”

  Tess sniffed and sat up, glad her red face would be masked by the slight tint of the windows.

  Josh was staring directly at her window and he smiled though it appeared he was in the same sad shape as she was.

  Tess smiled back and placed her hand on the window.

  Josh glanced around and, since no one was paying him any attention, he reached up and touched her hand through the glass briefly before pulling his cell phone out and pressing a button.

  Her phone rang. Tess grabbed for it and pressed the button.

  Stu chuckled and shook his head.

  “Hello?”

  “Open the window.”

  He gestured to her, still glancing around to make sure no one was watching.

  She hung up and stuffed the phone back into her pocket before putting the window down. “Miss me already?”

  “We’ll be OK.” Josh said with a forced smile. He gulped. “There’s a reason for all this—and I’ll visit. Maybe soon.”

  Tess nodded, wanting to believe him, even if his intention to visit Pennsylvania made her feel nauseated. “Ride that bike like you mean it, OK?”

  “As long as you promise to do the same.” Josh offered her another dimpled smile and reached his hand out to take her fingers from where they rested on the window. He lifted her hand and squeezed it, his gaze fusing with hers. “Good-bye, Tornado.” His voice cracked on her nickname.

  Tess nodded and tried to memorize the way their hands felt joined together. Reluctantly she squeezed his fingers one last time. “Bye, Jed.” She put up the window and waved again as the bus pulled away.

  Stu placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. “He won’t let you down.”

  Tess closed her eyes and relished the expression on Josh’s face as the bus pulled away. He wanted her to stay. Her. The girl who was hated by an entire town. A man of God was falling in love with her. It was almost too much. Tess was suddenly so overwhelmed that she started chuckling.

  Stu nudged her closer with the arm that was still around her shoulders. “Are you OK?”

  Tess opened her eyes and shoved his arm away as she continued laughing. “It’s hysterical,” she said. “I can’t believe you weren�
�t laughing this whole time.”

  Stu’s eyebrows knit together in concern. “Maybe you should take a drink of water,” he said, reaching for the bottle beside him. “You got too much sun yesterday and…”

  Tess shook her head and pushed the water bottle away, as she continued smiling. “No! How can you not find the humor in a man like Josh…a pastor, for heaven’s sake, finding someone like me…an ex-con…”

  “You are not an ex-con,” Stu said impatiently.

  “I might as well be.” Tess calmed down and rolled her eyes at her uncle. “Seriously—you don’t think this is kind of funny?”

  “I don’t think it’s funny at all.” Stu held out the water bottle to her.

  She reluctantly took a drink.

  “And I think you’re ducking your feelings so you can avoid dealing with them. They’ll catch up with you eventually.”

  Tess sighed heavily and shifted in her seat. “Yeah, well none of it matters because even if he calls me a few times and we text, it won’t matter. I mean, his intentions are fine, but it won’t be long until he realizes I’m…not cut out to be a pastor’s wife.” Tess leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

  “Tess.”

  “I don’t deserve him.” Tess yawned as the disappointment filled her. As much as she wanted to believe it didn’t matter, her words were true. She shouldn’t be with Josh. She’d assumed that he was taking a sincere interest in her. She’d hoped that her life would dramatically change because of their reunion, and more because Josh believed in her so deeply and transparently. But it wouldn’t happen. Some dreams were simply too outrageous to entertain.

  Tess’s phone buzzed with a text message. She yanked it from her pocket and hit the button.

  What’d you think of the pics?

  Tess pulled the envelope from her back pocket and opened it. A picture of Tess and Josh laughing together during a game they were playing with the youth group kids was on top of the stack. Immediately Tess smiled. They were sitting side by side at the front of the church in the next picture, dressed for a service where Josh blew Tess away with his sermon about the need for continued growth in Christ. Another picture showed them working hard and again laughing together as they pounded nails. She flipped through the rest of the stack and realized that forgetting Josh or pushing him back into the recesses of her mind would no longer be possible. She was in love with him.